I’ve had an interesting relationship with time for as long as I can remember
I began asking existential questions about time between first and second grade.
I call it a relationship because it isn’t an opinion about time so much as a relationship with it based on experience.
I was reading college level at this point so my dad gave me books on the subject.
We’d have lengthy discussions covering what I read as well as observations based on how I experienced time.
I told him I could feel the universe moving around me.
Early on I recognized that feeling the universe moving around me was more acute at certain times of year.
January August and November.
It’s difficult to describe.
I explained it as an awareness of pending seasonal shifts and a synchronizing of nature’s rhythm with my internal one.
Nature’s Time. My dad taught me to tune into nature’s rhythm.
- Walks in the woods
- Rivers, lakes, streams, and oceans.
When I asked how he learned all of this wisdom he told me his father taught him.
His father learned it from his mother who was born and raised in Ireland. It was explained to me this Irish was relevant as an innate ability to embrace and connect with nature.
Time Suspended. There are two times in my life when I was separated from my body and looked down on doctors working on me.
- When I was two and had a near fatal reaction to a vaccine
I remember floating above my body watching the hospital staff pack me in ice. I remember watching them scoop my hair into a type of shower cap and putting ice bags around my neck and on my stomach and chest. I also remember watching the doctor shove the ice bags aside to do chest compressions because my heart stopped. I felt no panic – just a curiosity as I watched.
- When I was ten and had a brain bleed
I felt no sense of urgency though I did “feel” my father’s panic as I watched him grab a doctor and pull him over to show him my pupils. I was a bit more “aware” I guess of where he was coming from showing the doctor I was dying but I didn’t feel any sense of panic or time moving. It was, however, more than simple curiosity.
In both instances I watched doctors and others scrambling even as I had no sense of time passing and no feeling of urgency.
Time as Awareness 1. While I was in the coma during the brain bleed I had awareness. I remember feeling fear that no one would realize I WAS aware and that they would leave me.
I knew I wasn’t dead but was very afraid they would think I was.
Time as Awareness 2. During the NDE I had various levels of experience.
Theoretically experience would come with a sense of time passing.
- Bright White Light
No tunnel. No stairs. Just “there”
- Slide Show Please
Images going past me at breakneck speed. For whatever reason it didn’t seem odd.
Time as Awareness 3. In the weeks and months after I went home from the hospital, I had trouble sleeping because my awareness of time had gone in a direction that was inexplicable.
I was aware of multiple dimensions. More, I was aware of what my life was like in at least one of them.
My dad would come in and ask why I was sitting up when I should be sleeping. I would explain that I was aware of the other dimensions.
I could feel them.
I explained that I was aware – I knew – that in at least one of them I’d died.
He was pretty good about it.
He’d say, “Well, you’re alive in this one so lay down and go to sleep.”
I obeyed though most of the time I simply laid down and stared up in the dark, thinking about the awareness I was feeling.
My awareness of other dimensions never went away though it more or less “moved to the back burner.”
I no longer feel a strong connection to awareness of having died in a different dimension.
Time Slows Down. Two times** in my life I recall having a sense of time literally stopping.
- After a tree came down on our house
A neighbor came to check on us. It was as if he and I were in a tunnel. There was no sound and it was as if time stood still. Then suddenly time sped up and I could hear the police who were helping Aaron get stuff out of the bedroom before the rain coming down in buckets destroyed it. I have no idea if the neighbor had that experience. I never talked to him about it.
- While talking with a repairman in the kitchen of a house we were renting
I was listening to the guy talk about how the water in the state was more corrosive and acidic and the effect it had on parts in the water delivery system throughout the state as well as appliances, pots, pans, and dishes – when time stopped. There was no sound but no tunnel effect. I remember being aware of time stopped and wondering if he was aware of it. Shortly thereafter time sped up. I remember wondering if he noticed any change in my behavior – maybe thought I was staring? I never said anything, and he didn’t seem disturbed.
Shortly after the second incident I was in a Barnes & Noble Book Store.
Interesting Freudian slip. I wrote Borders then had to correct while editing. By this point they were gone. They were one of the best Book Store chains and I found my best “alternate theory” reference material – including work from Russell Targ, PhD, Lynne McTaggart, and more – shopping there. I DO like Barnes and Noble as well and always – ALWAYS – find their associates incredibly knowledgeable and helpful.
One of the ladies pointed me toward Paulo Coelho’s Aleph. I enjoyed the book but what fascinated me most was that the same phenomenon happened to one of the characters in the story.
Apparently, the phenomenon is called an Aleph.
The biggest takeaway from that is that I’m not the only one who has a unique relationship with Time.
Though I’ve researched theories on time since I was in grade school, including reading scientific papers and watching documentaries, it’s my own experience with it that drives my relationship to it.
And on an end note? One of my very favorite albums of all times is…
Time by ELO.
There are uncanny similarities to some of what I saw and experienced in the NDE in certain songs.
There’s an entire story about that and how I discovered this album but perhaps it’s best left for another time…
**I recently had a 3rd experience of Time Standing Still.
My life…always an adventure…