Layers of Time and Story

8834668-3x2-700x467.jpgWorking on Bind:  Book 9 in the Metatron’s Army Series.  Though I like all the books, this one is a particular favorite.

While the story throughout the series alternates between action and character focus, sometimes highlighting both simultaneously, at this point, there is a heavy focus on the characters after significant action.  The resulting changes really bring them to life.

I was reading through a scene that makes me chuckle whenever I read it.

I love Christine’s attitude when she’s interacting with the Council of Twelve.  It shows her growth as a leader while still showing off a bit of her Midwest upbringing which keeps her from becoming overly confident or arrogant.

It brought to mind the time the scene was “written.”

I was driving home from work, stuck in traffic in a 5-speed stick – stop and go – one foot on the gas, the other on the clutch  hoping to get the car out of first.  I was near Featherstone next to the Pontiac Silverdome, watching a sea of red taillights when the idea for the holographic image as used in this scene just popped into my mind. 

There is a different scene in Diagonals: Book 10 in the series, that came from the same trip home.

Fight Fire with Fire by Kansas was playing on the radio, inspiring it.

This has been an ongoing occurrence throughout the Middlegame of the series.

I’m moving into Endgame at this point.

Throughout the read/edit/rewrite process, I’ll vividly remember where I was (and what I was doing) when a plot twist or scene came to mind.  It’s an interesting superposition of present over past.

My favorite concept:  Time.

Pin:  Book 8 is now available for preorder.

UPDATE:  The music scene inspired by that interesting evening in traffic is actually in Bind.  🙂


Math as Language (Equations Tell Stories)

Math-BrainsIn the days since posting the previous article I’ve weighed the pros and cons of explaining (or trying to) what solving the equation meant/revealed.  As it does circle back to the progress of this series, I decided to give it a shot.

It isn’t simple.  It reminds me of trying to explain the NDE faithfully.  The “white light” isn’t the white light as I’ve learned – or rather it isn’t just a white light – and there was no tunnel or stairs or any of the other stuff made popular by the entertainment industry.  There’s so much more to it – to the Celestial plane and the beings there – but how do you get that across?

The Scene.  The equation, written in white chalk, appeared on a green old-fashioned style chalkboard.  I recognized it from the first time I’d seen it when it was suddenly in front of me in a vision while I was sitting in high school geometry.

Though I wrote it down that day, in the years since, I have just worked from memory.

I was a bit startled because I hadn’t “seen” the equation in 34 years but the moment I saw it, I recognized it for being “the” equation.

I now realize that I actually had some of it partially solved in 1995.  I just didn’t realize it. 

The Action.  The Celestial being told me it was time to solve it.

He is young, male – though adult – and admitted it was his job to work with me on this at this time. 

He stepped back and waited while I tried to focus on the equation.

This is where it gets tricky to describe.  I “see” but I don’t.  It’s there but keeping the focus on it when the analytical mind wants to start working on it – it’s tough because then the image starts to fade.  I had to blank my mind out and try again. 

The guide did help in that he was able to redirect my focus so that the equation again appeared.

He also encouraged me to focus on the left side of it – the function symbol and the couple of symbols immediately to the right of it which was key. He emphasized without actually spelling it out that I needed to focus on part, not the whole.

A bit frustrated I went and chatted with Aaron about the equation.

And about having been interrupted during my meditation and “ordered” to solve it.

He reminded me of the basics of calculus – as this equation was definitely using that – and I talked out what I was trying to understand – that the key to unraveling it was with that first part.

I went back to my desk and back to work on the equation, keeping my focus on that function symbol. 

The moment I “got” that concept – zeroing in on that one section – the function symbol transformed into a word.  This was immediately followed by the symbols to the right of that function symbol – also calculus symbols – transforming into words.

My reaction was, “Oh, of course!  Math is a language!  It’s the language of the universe!”

The moment that got through the words moved into the distance and more words appeared beside it.

The remaining parts of the equation transforming. 

As I continued to focus on the process (rather than on the words), the words transformed into images.

They (the guides) were explaining to me that while math is a language it is not the only language of the universe.  Images are also the language of the universe.

Once I acknowledged that comment the images began to animate and I was watching a film.

One of the films I saw during the NDE. 

This particular snippet was telling a story of how the Egyptians had it right in their development of mathematics.  They also had the right way of introducing non-mathematical language to the world through images and then words later.

I was watching a history of part of the development of mankind, focusing on the fact the Egyptians did it right.  There is an irony here – this equation first appeared to me while sitting in geometry – Greek math.  A heavenly debate over which is better?

As soon as it started, it stopped.

It’s jarring to have it all vanish instantaneously.  During the NDE it went from one film/image to another to another at a dizzying speed – the information coming at me like water from a firehose. They were images but occasionally animated at a speed that made it appear as video.  I was always able to separate out the images – like slowing down a cartoon to see each frame.

The guide had to go but he told me I was to continue working.

There are more equations to work on.

What Now?  Apparently, this is going to be the way of it for a bit.

The stars must be aligned.

The other night I was in spirit school.

I describe this experience in great detail in After Here: The Celestial Plane and What Happens When We Die.

As I was transitioning back to this plane of awareness, the guides, in their typical fashion, asked me  to repeat back what I’d learned/been told.

This lesson had to do with energy transference.

Sometimes it’s like trying to grab a spider web dissolving in water.  It’s difficult to hold onto as you are coming awake.

It was 4:45 am and while I knew I would go back to sleep for an hour or two, I did “try” to hold onto the lesson.

Writing the Metatron’s Army Series has brought me in tune with the beings who were with me during the NDE.  The fact I can see math as a language but get at it through words helps me understand they can and will work with me using whatever tools at their disposal to communicate.

I sincerely believe this is not unique to me – I believe we have lots of help but we aren’t tuned into it.  For more on this, I suggest reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

How Does it End?  Though I know how the series is going to wind down and I have most of the scenes and remaining books mapped out, I have to admit to wondering what the Celestial beings have in store for me.

I feel as if I’m as much the reader as I am the writer of this tale.

I’ll just keep doing what I’ve always done with the paranormal – accept it for what it is, study it, decipher it, and use it to help where and when I can.


Celestial Mystery Solved!

stock-photo-advanced-calculus-on-whiteboard-128806753I’ll be honest, life has kicked the shit out of me more often than I’d like to think about.


  • I survived an abusive childhood

 Wrote a book about it but it didn’t fit with my catalogue so I pulled it until and unless I can figure out where it belongs.

  • I attended a Catholic school with sadomasochistic nuns

But managed to form a strong faith and spiritual bond with God in spite of it all.

  • Suffered a brain hemorrhage that left me dead 3 times, blind, paralyzed, and in a coma

Wrote a book about that, too 

Though I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the Metatron’s Army Series, it, too, has come with challenges.

It’s where imagination gets a little closer to the real than most of my other work which is saying a lot given I’m a psychic and talk with ghosts. Hey, they say write what you know, right? 

I now understand some of the method to the madness.

Like so much else in my life, it is colored by paranormal overtones.

As I write in After Here, I had a rather startling experience while sitting in geometry class.

A lot of information that I was shown/told during the NDE suddenly flashed in front of me, cascading in rapidly, which is an interesting experience to have when you’re supposed to be listening to boring theorems.  Worse when the information you get shows you where Euclid got it wrong.

I tried talking to my geometry teacher about it but she smiled at me condescendingly and told me she was just sure I misunderstood.  After all, Euclid couldn’t possibly be wrong.

And the atom couldn’t possibly be split.

I went home and began scribbling equations I’d seen in the vision.  The very first person I showed them to was a good friend who was brilliant in math.

He’s at NASA now.

He admitted they went over his head but suggested I talk to our physics teacher.

Who listened and talked through everything he knew about big bang theory. 

 I talked to my pre-calc teacher.

He pointed me back at my physics teacher after explaining that scientists and mathematicians can interpret equations differently.

Unfortunately, my efforts were derailed.

Life sucker punched me again. 

In college, I talked with my calculus teacher and my ME teacher about the equations.

Both told me I was on the right track and pointed me at other resources.

I spoke to a coworker from ECD where I’d interned, who suggested I write it into a report and o send it to him.

I showed it to a professor who used it to teach one of his classes.  Unfortunately, my former colleague passed away before I could get it to him.  And life kicked me down – again.

In the ensuing years I continued to work on trying to understand the equations.

And I kept getting derailed by shitty life events.  One would think life was conspiring to keep me from solving them.

Otherworldly Help.  As I talk about in a Spooky Fun video, while visiting Vegas to escape the brutal April Colorado cold, I met up with a rather charismatic ghost.

Who is intelligent, sweet, and perhaps best of all, very willing to help me in all things EMF.

One evening in Fort Collins, while discussing the equations with my EE husband, who is also brilliant in math, ET appeared.  To my surprise and delight, he offered insight into the science behind the whole of it.

Just as I talk about in another Spooky Fun video, he gave me information but not the answer.  I would have to work that out for myself.

I set everything into a file, making a note to examine it later.

When life wasn’t as chaotic.  By the time I was working on the Metatron’s Army Series, it was looking like that would be never.

About a month and a half ago I was pulled into spirit school – during the day.

I write about what I call spirit school in After Here.  It is the inspiration for Christine’s Energy School.

This is actually the second time I was pulled into spirit school while awake.

Both after starting the Metatron’s Army Series.

The Celestial being who was with me pointed to a chalk board upon which the equation had been written in white chalk.

The board was an old-fashioned green chalkboard.

I was “told” it was time for me to solve it.

As I studied it I began to understand it – and to solve it.

The key was the function symbol and the first few symbols that followed it.  As I continued to work on it, the Celestial being waiting not so patiently as I did so (even as he tried to help me), the symbols began to transform into their solved parts.

Kind of disorienting.

I had to get back to it – the reality that is my life – and the guide apparently had other things to do – so we parted ways.

But not before he ordered me to solve the equation.

I’d gotten enough success that I felt confident I’d be able to.  Someday.

I sure as hell wasn’t about to invite more chaos into my life by actually “trying” to do it.

I immediately talked to Aaron about it.

Interrupted whatever he was working on.

I recounted the specific times in the past twenty years that I’d tried to solve the thing, explaining that every damned time I’d tried working on it, something nasty got me off track.

Interestingly, I came to see that the same three individuals played a role in that derailing – either directly or indirectly.

He discussed the mathematics with me, falling back on calculus basics, after which I tucked the knowledge away and got back to life.

And let him get back to work.

Otherworldly Help 2.  In a previous post I wrote how a Celestial being appeared to me at the onset of the story development, spending an entire afternoon discussing an aspect of the story.

The white mist.

About five months ago, one of the [ghost] Crew who comes and goes joined me as I was taking a break from writing to explain a different yet related aspect of this medium.

He explained that one of the reasons it’s so easy for Celestial beings to communicate with me is because, having been on “the other side” I have the ability to understand both worlds. 

After listening, I said, “So, it’s as if you and I are on opposite sides of a glass door, our hands on the glass.”

He said, “Yes.  But take away the glass.”

I summed it up as, “So, basically, I’m bilingual.  I speak both languages.”


It’s because of this that the Celestial beings were able to help me solve the equation – by ordering me to write the story.

As I’ve written, while writing the novels of the Middle Game part of the series, “writing” turned into “read remembering.”

Today, as I was finishing up Diagonals, Book 11 (the final in the Middle Game section of the series), the answer flashed into my mind.  I finally solved the damned equation!

One of them, at least.

You Can’t Escape Fate.  If nothing else, I’ve learned that in spite of what we do in life (or what life does to us), Celestial help will find a way to get us back on track.

But damn if the path doesn’t just plain suck sometimes.

Since I’ve got work to do, I again set the information aside, knowing it isn’t going anywhere.

The Celestial beings wouldn’t let it.

080217_TS_wormholes_main_freeI bet if others looked back over their lives they would be able to pick out patterns that made them go hmmm.

Perhaps revealing a world they never knew existed but one they nonetheless are part of.

NOTE:  Regarding being pulled into spirit school while awake.  The first time was immediately prior to sleep.  I was in bed.  The second time I was in the process of meditating.

The Celestial: It’s Finally About the Beings

22991eebe22b187f07e3c8b876bbaf6c-2The most difficult aspect of the NDE wasn’t the experience.  It wasn’t even what I saw.  It was having to explain it later.

Paralyzed from the bleeding in my brain, I wasn’t able to speak for quite some time.  When I was? One of the very first things out of my mouth was, “I saw God and Aunt Janice.”

At that point it was about pokes and prods and cold fingers taking my pulse, cold metal on my chest to listen to my heart, cold beeps to track the beat that had stopped after 3 days in Intensive Care.  Eventually, however…

  • What was it like?
  • What did you see?
  • What was she wearing?

On an on the questions came and the more details certain people wanted, the more difficult it became to explain.

Fortunately, my parents, my neurosurgeon, and the British surgeon who helped me on the path to holistic medicine as a lifestyle all accepted everything without further grilling or implying I wasn’t getting it right somehow.

Because it didn’t fit in with their vision of what it should be like. 

We’re Still With You.  As I’ve mentioned before, once the door was opened, it never shut again.  Some of the Celestial beings I’d been with continued to visit with me.

Including God, who’d told me He would always be with me.

Celestial Babysitter.  I clearly remember the night I was discharged from the hospital.  The neurosurgeon came in to see how I was doing.  It was one of the few times I was “alone” in my room.

It was about eight in the evening.  My parents, getting a much needed break, were off having dinner.

I beamed up at him and said, “You just missed God.  He was just here with me.”

I pointed to a place over my right shoulder.

I can still remember the look on his face as he looked at the space then back at me.  I smiled and told him I had a surprise for him.

To that point I had been paralyzed on my left side.  I had him put his hand in my left hand and I squeezed his fingers.  Then I had him push the blankets back and showed him I could flex some of the muscles in my left leg.  My reward? I could go home.

I was released at around eleven that night.

For some reason a nurse handed my mother a pillow case filled with the hair they’d shaved from my head during emergency surgery three weeks earlier.  It was splattered with blood.  The nurse told her, “It was for the funeral home.”  Did she expect it to be a souvenir or something?

When I got home, after playing with the kittens our kitty had had, I immediately began telling my brother all about the Celestial beings that were all around me.

I think I talked him to sleep.

When my dad came in and told me to go to sleep, probably around three am, I responded by telling him about the Celestial beings that had come home with me.

The first of many late-night existential discussions.

Celestial Beings Explain.  The years immediately after the surgery were chaotic.  By tenth grade, things had settled down somewhat. Enough that the Celestial Beings began facilitating explanations for what I saw and experienced.

Kicking off with the rather dramatic experience in geometry class I write about.

Celestial Beings Knock.  As I’ve spoken about in the video regarding how Metatron’s Army came to be, the Celestial Beings (or at least a representative) approached and told me to put it down.

Publish it.

It was a daunting task as it encompassed thirty-five plus years worth of work, but as I point out in the video about how Metatron’s Army got its name, I’ve had Celestial assistance when I’ve asked.

Haven’t I Seen This?  Beginning with the middle game of the series, I became aware that I was no longer writing.  I was read remembering.

I can still remember the exact day I stopped typing and stared at what I’d just written and said, “I remember this!” 

The story – what was about to be written – it was like a déjà vu.  But why?

Was I remembering the original story or what I’d seen in the NDE?

Celestial Beings Reboot.  I’ve come to see they don’t necessarily wait til I ask for help to put in an appearance.

Back in the spring of tenth grade, a female Celestial being put in an appearance to explain, in detail, why the plot I was developing had to adjust to accommodate “what happened.”  I was very upset because it wasn’t – I wasn’t particularly thrilled with what happened to a character, thereby affecting the other characters.  She took an entire afternoon to immerse me in the explanation, going so far as to replay certain aspects of the NDE.  It was like watching a movie and being able to question the one showing me while I was watching.

Years later, an accomplished writer, I was integrating those “movies” with what it takes to write a saga.

What plot would support the story?  What characters would support the original eight?  What universe needed to be built around the original three worlds?  What backstory needed to support all of it?

I truncated a major event to fit the story.

 Yes, it has elements of the real but there has to be the surround to have it translate, make it enjoyable/entertaining.

Not So Fast.  One evening I got a visit from the female Celestial being.

Hadn’t seen or heard from her in years.

She wasn’t particularly happy with what I’d done to “her scene.”

She proceeded to remind me of that “conversation” we’d had all those years ago, replete with the movie.

As I watched the movie I saw the potential in putting the details back into the book.  Excited, I thanked her for reminding me, then set about putting it back together.

I now see it’s the only way to do it justice.

As I’m working through the final edits of the middle game, I find myself excited because unlike the lead-in to this point, I can now focus on character insight.

I can really bring the Celestial beings to life.

There is a lightness of being to writing this part of the book.  It’s natural because it exists.

As  opposed to being created to support the real.

And yet it’s all untouchable because while we coexist with the Celestial, there is a divide.

It’s called awareness.  Or lack of.

Back to the Beginning.  It’s a beautiful marriage of the real and the imagination supported by the underlying foundation of it all.

That would be love.

What Makes a Good Lover?

61HIE4tsgFL._SX425_Throughout the Metatron’s Army Series, I’ve had to examine romance and romantic relations through a number of lenses.

Aliens, angels/celestial beings, human, common man, physical, emotional, psychological, other.

There are intersecting stories and intersecting motivations as to why various characters seek out relationships that fall under the romance cloud with enough sub-categories that even an analytical mind can appreciate.

No When Harry Met Sally stuff here.  Btw:  I did like that movie – for a break in the day…

What I have to consider when designing match-ups of characters – writing their passion scenes – how good are they as a lover?

We have teenage (and alien) loss of virginity, more experienced, this is – um cool/interesting/yeah, I’m liking life, I’m starving, I’m desperate, I’m broken, I’m in command, and so on

Every character, every match-up, every passion scene, has to take into account the experience and attitude of the individual playing the game.

This is particularly important with different species.

To understand the attitude, you have to go into what is motivating the character to have sex.

You have I’m just happy to be here, I’m humoring you, I’m bored, I’m satisfying a curiosity, I’m …

Out of ideas.  Several years ago, as a writer, I hit a panic place when it came to writing scenes of passion.  Worried that I would bore readers (read bore myself), I worried that I would find myself writing boring sex scenes.

I called a good buddy of mine and told him my concerns.  He laughed – which was exactly what I needed – and proceeded to tell me there are as many ways to have sex as there are people having sex.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.

From then on – though I honestly didn’t get it at “that moment” – I came to see that to write a great sex scene (scene of passion), I needed to get into the minds and hearts of BOTH characters about to get into it.

Every time.

  • Why are they doing it?
  • How much experience do they have?
  • Why are they doing it with  THIS person?
  • What are the conditions?
  • How much time do they have?
  • Other

After looking at it through those variables I realized my bud was right – the possibilities were truly endless.

I hope you’ll enjoy the progression of the characters’ romantic (read passion) lives throughout the entirety of the Metatron’s Army Series, as well as the universes (and the worlds within them) that have yet to come.