Crossroads Where The Celestial Meets Creativity

Crossroads.jpgWorking on Book 12 which may or may not be the final in the Metatron’s Army Series.

I gave up trying to predict when I realized that reintroducing cut scenes only enhanced and improved the story.

I am reading a dialogue scene between Chestin and Christine.  It’s a moment where Chestin shares his take on how to get around the political elite by using a loophole they are aware of but would never suspect the team would [be smart enough to] use.  My first impression upon reading the scene was satisfaction because it was a good illustration of Chestin’s strengths and his attitude – something Christine counts on.  A moment’s reflection brought to mind when and where I was when  I came up with the scene to begin with.

It is one of a number of times in creating this series when, upon writing and/or reading a scene, I am taken back to the time and place where I came up with it.  In this particular case, it’s split over two time frames.

Part One took place while I was on a treadmill in my basement in Michigan in the spring of 1999. The continuation took place while I was living downtown San Francisco in the fall of 2003, cleaning out a closet.

This story has crisscrossed back and forth, bringing to mind a number of times and places.

I’m even coming to see the role dreams and side journeys have played in its creation.

I’ve also come to realize that the plot device I thought I’d dredged up from my subconscious while playing as a child was never part of the original story.

It was only part of play time with a friend. 

That it ended up in the story was never consciously planned and had absolutely nothing to do with those days playing Barbies.  This has left me wondering – is the author the writer or the transcriber?

Or both? 

The crisscrossing continued as I moved throughout the West/Southwest US.

Searching for an environmentally safe place to live.

I came up with the skeleton framework for the endgame while listening to INXS and packing Legos for the move to San Diego.

Artwork.  This story, which has evolved over decades, is made up of disconnected yet congruent pieces, ribbons, with labels from different times and places, all flowing from the same source. My job is to find matching labels, like something from Husker Du, in order to weave them coherently.

It isn’t just the story they put together, it’s the journey of making sense of the amazing surreal place where the celestial and the creative come together.

MA – Where Did It Begin?

pagephotos_2918_59d4d821ccf8e2f1138036c083d75f39f704aee3732eb.jpgThis morning I was catching up on current events when a memory surfaced.  It was a little over a year after the brain surgery.  I was living in Florida, playing Barbies with a friend.  I’d come up with a rather unique way of “babysitting” kids so the adults could go out.  To my surprise, I realized that decades later this unique solution ended up as a plot device in the Metatron’s Army Series!

Which is why I’m not going to elaborate and spoil it.

I remember discussing the pros and cons of using this device with a friend.  He likes sci-fi and encouraged the method.

He thought it totally appropriate.

With only minor heartburn I went ahead.  I’m now totally fine with it.

The decision wasn’t what was such a big deal.  It was the way I implemented the plot device.

The how.

It’s unique and it’s something I’ve elaborated on in various books throughout the series – as appropriate to the progression of the story.

I’m about to reference it in an upcoming scene which is perhaps why the memory surfaced.

What surprised me the most about this is that it’s evident the seeds for Metatron’s Army were planted earlier than I thought.

I’d originally thought the first threads of the story were conceived while I was reading a Barbie coloring book back in Michigan, ten months after the Florida event.

I’ve always known that MA was born of my need to sort through what happened during the NDE.  In light of this memory, I have to wonder if there’s more to the reality of the story than I already believed.

It’s common for children to use play – drawing, acting out – as a way to deal with emotionally and psychologically challenging events. Trust me, having an NDE at 10 years of age was challenging. 

As I enter into the End Game part of the story I find myself experiencing memories that reveal information gained during the NDE.

The most recent has to do with whether or not the universe is expanding or contracting.

Much of the stuff, rooted deep within my unconscious, is finding its way to the surface by way of writing the story.

When the memories do invade, it’s quite startling and can pull me away from the story for a bit, though I usually set it aside for later review and get back to work.

This latest will likely suck up a bit of time but as with the others, I’ll set it aside.  After all, I have a scene to write.

I find it interesting that Barbies were the trigger that set the story in motion all those decades ago.

Layers of Time and Story

8834668-3x2-700x467.jpgWorking on Bind:  Book 9 in the Metatron’s Army Series.  Though I like all the books, this one is a particular favorite.

While the story throughout the series alternates between action and character focus, sometimes highlighting both simultaneously, at this point, there is a heavy focus on the characters after significant action.  The resulting changes really bring them to life.

I was reading through a scene that makes me chuckle whenever I read it.

I love Christine’s attitude when she’s interacting with the Council of Twelve.  It shows her growth as a leader while still showing off a bit of her Midwest upbringing which keeps her from becoming overly confident or arrogant.

It brought to mind the time the scene was “written.”

I was driving home from work, stuck in traffic in a 5-speed stick – stop and go – one foot on the gas, the other on the clutch  hoping to get the car out of first.  I was near Featherstone next to the Pontiac Silverdome, watching a sea of red taillights when the idea for the holographic image as used in this scene just popped into my mind. 

There is a different scene in Diagonals: Book 10 in the series, that came from the same trip home.

Fight Fire with Fire by Kansas was playing on the radio, inspiring it.

This has been an ongoing occurrence throughout the Middlegame of the series.

I’m moving into Endgame at this point.

Throughout the read/edit/rewrite process, I’ll vividly remember where I was (and what I was doing) when a plot twist or scene came to mind.  It’s an interesting superposition of present over past.

My favorite concept:  Time.

Pin:  Book 8 is now available for preorder.

UPDATE:  The music scene inspired by that interesting evening in traffic is actually in Bind.  🙂


Math as Language (Equations Tell Stories)

Math-BrainsIn the days since posting the previous article I’ve weighed the pros and cons of explaining (or trying to) what solving the equation meant/revealed.  As it does circle back to the progress of this series, I decided to give it a shot.

It isn’t simple.  It reminds me of trying to explain the NDE faithfully.  The “white light” isn’t the white light as I’ve learned – or rather it isn’t just a white light – and there was no tunnel or stairs or any of the other stuff made popular by the entertainment industry.  There’s so much more to it – to the Celestial plane and the beings there – but how do you get that across?

The Scene.  The equation, written in white chalk, appeared on a green old-fashioned style chalkboard.  I recognized it from the first time I’d seen it when it was suddenly in front of me in a vision while I was sitting in high school geometry.

Though I wrote it down that day, in the years since, I have just worked from memory.

I was a bit startled because I hadn’t “seen” the equation in 34 years but the moment I saw it, I recognized it for being “the” equation.

I now realize that I actually had some of it partially solved in 1995.  I just didn’t realize it. 

The Action.  The Celestial being told me it was time to solve it.

He is young, male – though adult – and admitted it was his job to work with me on this at this time. 

He stepped back and waited while I tried to focus on the equation.

This is where it gets tricky to describe.  I “see” but I don’t.  It’s there but keeping the focus on it when the analytical mind wants to start working on it – it’s tough because then the image starts to fade.  I had to blank my mind out and try again. 

The guide did help in that he was able to redirect my focus so that the equation again appeared.

He also encouraged me to focus on the left side of it – the function symbol and the couple of symbols immediately to the right of it which was key. He emphasized without actually spelling it out that I needed to focus on part, not the whole.

A bit frustrated I went and chatted with Aaron about the equation.

And about having been interrupted during my meditation and “ordered” to solve it.

He reminded me of the basics of calculus – as this equation was definitely using that – and I talked out what I was trying to understand – that the key to unraveling it was with that first part.

I went back to my desk and back to work on the equation, keeping my focus on that function symbol. 

The moment I “got” that concept – zeroing in on that one section – the function symbol transformed into a word.  This was immediately followed by the symbols to the right of that function symbol – also calculus symbols – transforming into words.

My reaction was, “Oh, of course!  Math is a language!  It’s the language of the universe!”

The moment that got through the words moved into the distance and more words appeared beside it.

The remaining parts of the equation transforming. 

As I continued to focus on the process (rather than on the words), the words transformed into images.

They (the guides) were explaining to me that while math is a language it is not the only language of the universe.  Images are also the language of the universe.

Once I acknowledged that comment the images began to animate and I was watching a film.

One of the films I saw during the NDE. 

This particular snippet was telling a story of how the Egyptians had it right in their development of mathematics.  They also had the right way of introducing non-mathematical language to the world through images and then words later.

I was watching a history of part of the development of mankind, focusing on the fact the Egyptians did it right.  There is an irony here – this equation first appeared to me while sitting in geometry – Greek math.  A heavenly debate over which is better?

As soon as it started, it stopped.

It’s jarring to have it all vanish instantaneously.  During the NDE it went from one film/image to another to another at a dizzying speed – the information coming at me like water from a firehose. They were images but occasionally animated at a speed that made it appear as video.  I was always able to separate out the images – like slowing down a cartoon to see each frame.

The guide had to go but he told me I was to continue working.

There are more equations to work on.

What Now?  Apparently, this is going to be the way of it for a bit.

The stars must be aligned.

The other night I was in spirit school.

I describe this experience in great detail in After Here: The Celestial Plane and What Happens When We Die.

As I was transitioning back to this plane of awareness, the guides, in their typical fashion, asked me  to repeat back what I’d learned/been told.

This lesson had to do with energy transference.

Sometimes it’s like trying to grab a spider web dissolving in water.  It’s difficult to hold onto as you are coming awake.

It was 4:45 am and while I knew I would go back to sleep for an hour or two, I did “try” to hold onto the lesson.

Writing the Metatron’s Army Series has brought me in tune with the beings who were with me during the NDE.  The fact I can see math as a language but get at it through words helps me understand they can and will work with me using whatever tools at their disposal to communicate.

I sincerely believe this is not unique to me – I believe we have lots of help but we aren’t tuned into it.  For more on this, I suggest reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

How Does it End?  Though I know how the series is going to wind down and I have most of the scenes and remaining books mapped out, I have to admit to wondering what the Celestial beings have in store for me.

I feel as if I’m as much the reader as I am the writer of this tale.

I’ll just keep doing what I’ve always done with the paranormal – accept it for what it is, study it, decipher it, and use it to help where and when I can.


Celestial Mystery Solved!

stock-photo-advanced-calculus-on-whiteboard-128806753I’ll be honest, life has kicked the shit out of me more often than I’d like to think about.


  • I survived an abusive childhood

 Wrote a book about it but it didn’t fit with my catalogue so I pulled it until and unless I can figure out where it belongs.

  • I attended a Catholic school with sadomasochistic nuns

But managed to form a strong faith and spiritual bond with God in spite of it all.

  • Suffered a brain hemorrhage that left me dead 3 times, blind, paralyzed, and in a coma

Wrote a book about that, too 

Though I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the Metatron’s Army Series, it, too, has come with challenges.

It’s where imagination gets a little closer to the real than most of my other work which is saying a lot given I’m a psychic and talk with ghosts. Hey, they say write what you know, right? 

I now understand some of the method to the madness.

Like so much else in my life, it is colored by paranormal overtones.

As I write in After Here, I had a rather startling experience while sitting in geometry class.

A lot of information that I was shown/told during the NDE suddenly flashed in front of me, cascading in rapidly, which is an interesting experience to have when you’re supposed to be listening to boring theorems.  Worse when the information you get shows you where Euclid got it wrong.

I tried talking to my geometry teacher about it but she smiled at me condescendingly and told me she was just sure I misunderstood.  After all, Euclid couldn’t possibly be wrong.

And the atom couldn’t possibly be split.

I went home and began scribbling equations I’d seen in the vision.  The very first person I showed them to was a good friend who was brilliant in math.

He’s at NASA now.

He admitted they went over his head but suggested I talk to our physics teacher.

Who listened and talked through everything he knew about big bang theory. 

 I talked to my pre-calc teacher.

He pointed me back at my physics teacher after explaining that scientists and mathematicians can interpret equations differently.

Unfortunately, my efforts were derailed.

Life sucker punched me again. 

In college, I talked with my calculus teacher and my ME teacher about the equations.

Both told me I was on the right track and pointed me at other resources.

I spoke to a coworker from ECD where I’d interned, who suggested I write it into a report and o send it to him.

I showed it to a professor who used it to teach one of his classes.  Unfortunately, my former colleague passed away before I could get it to him.  And life kicked me down – again.

In the ensuing years I continued to work on trying to understand the equations.

And I kept getting derailed by shitty life events.  One would think life was conspiring to keep me from solving them.

Otherworldly Help.  As I talk about in a Spooky Fun video, while visiting Vegas to escape the brutal April Colorado cold, I met up with a rather charismatic ghost.

Who is intelligent, sweet, and perhaps best of all, very willing to help me in all things EMF.

One evening in Fort Collins, while discussing the equations with my EE husband, who is also brilliant in math, ET appeared.  To my surprise and delight, he offered insight into the science behind the whole of it.

Just as I talk about in another Spooky Fun video, he gave me information but not the answer.  I would have to work that out for myself.

I set everything into a file, making a note to examine it later.

When life wasn’t as chaotic.  By the time I was working on the Metatron’s Army Series, it was looking like that would be never.

About a month and a half ago I was pulled into spirit school – during the day.

I write about what I call spirit school in After Here.  It is the inspiration for Christine’s Energy School.

This is actually the second time I was pulled into spirit school while awake.

Both after starting the Metatron’s Army Series.

The Celestial being who was with me pointed to a chalk board upon which the equation had been written in white chalk.

The board was an old-fashioned green chalkboard.

I was “told” it was time for me to solve it.

As I studied it I began to understand it – and to solve it.

The key was the function symbol and the first few symbols that followed it.  As I continued to work on it, the Celestial being waiting not so patiently as I did so (even as he tried to help me), the symbols began to transform into their solved parts.

Kind of disorienting.

I had to get back to it – the reality that is my life – and the guide apparently had other things to do – so we parted ways.

But not before he ordered me to solve the equation.

I’d gotten enough success that I felt confident I’d be able to.  Someday.

I sure as hell wasn’t about to invite more chaos into my life by actually “trying” to do it.

I immediately talked to Aaron about it.

Interrupted whatever he was working on.

I recounted the specific times in the past twenty years that I’d tried to solve the thing, explaining that every damned time I’d tried working on it, something nasty got me off track.

Interestingly, I came to see that the same three individuals played a role in that derailing – either directly or indirectly.

He discussed the mathematics with me, falling back on calculus basics, after which I tucked the knowledge away and got back to life.

And let him get back to work.

Otherworldly Help 2.  In a previous post I wrote how a Celestial being appeared to me at the onset of the story development, spending an entire afternoon discussing an aspect of the story.

The white mist.

About five months ago, one of the [ghost] Crew who comes and goes joined me as I was taking a break from writing to explain a different yet related aspect of this medium.

He explained that one of the reasons it’s so easy for Celestial beings to communicate with me is because, having been on “the other side” I have the ability to understand both worlds. 

After listening, I said, “So, it’s as if you and I are on opposite sides of a glass door, our hands on the glass.”

He said, “Yes.  But take away the glass.”

I summed it up as, “So, basically, I’m bilingual.  I speak both languages.”


It’s because of this that the Celestial beings were able to help me solve the equation – by ordering me to write the story.

As I’ve written, while writing the novels of the Middle Game part of the series, “writing” turned into “read remembering.”

Today, as I was finishing up Diagonals, Book 11 (the final in the Middle Game section of the series), the answer flashed into my mind.  I finally solved the damned equation!

One of them, at least.

You Can’t Escape Fate.  If nothing else, I’ve learned that in spite of what we do in life (or what life does to us), Celestial help will find a way to get us back on track.

But damn if the path doesn’t just plain suck sometimes.

Since I’ve got work to do, I again set the information aside, knowing it isn’t going anywhere.

The Celestial beings wouldn’t let it.

080217_TS_wormholes_main_freeI bet if others looked back over their lives they would be able to pick out patterns that made them go hmmm.

Perhaps revealing a world they never knew existed but one they nonetheless are part of.

NOTE:  Regarding being pulled into spirit school while awake.  The first time was immediately prior to sleep.  I was in bed.  The second time I was in the process of meditating.