Note: Longer post.
I like to be thorough.
I just got finished with a rather interesting conversation.
With Aaron, my trusty EE sounding board.
That he is a EE has helped me more times than I can count as I’ve traveled the path of EMF Sensitivity.
Including the esoteric kind.
For all that he has helped me sort through things, the current situation means he’s limited to being that sounding board.
Which is helpful, nonetheless.
As I come to the end of the Metatron’s Army Reboot project I find I’m struggling with things I haven’t had to deal with in 42 years.
The things I saw and experienced in the NDE. What do they mean?
I can’t help but wonder at how this came about. I addressed erroneous manuscripts previously. How did the ones that were not fixed end up being rereleased?
Though I technically have an idea of what happened, I have no answer for how it happened.
Unless there was something else going on? Like it was meant to happen and meant to happen now?
Grasping at straws here to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense.
But here I am and I’m determined to do a good job and move on to other projects. But first…
I started experiencing Spirit School with Bind: Book 9 in the series.
Multiple times a week after several years hiatus from the phenomenon.
More fantastical than what I was told was what I was shown. Two images in particular continue to stand out.
One is of a painting hanging on a wall in an apartment I was shown.
A more contemporary version of the Water Tower apartment.
As there was a painting in it – a gift to the resident – I have to guess it was Verix’s.
There’s a rather detailed scene about how Christine’s apartment lacks decor, something she defends by pointing out her life is function over form.
I was asked to walk close to the painting, to study it in detail, and to tell “the dude” – who was my guide for this one – what stood out to me.
Color, design, and how realistic the painted object appeared.
While the imagery was stunning, it was what I saw from the window of that apartment that really had an impact.
Incindetally, there are no windows in the Water Tower apartments.
In this version of the apartment, at the end of the hall that would lead to the bedrooms there was a rather large window.
Rectangular, it was longer than wide though it was not floor to ceiling.
It was what was visible from the window that got my attention.
And startled me to the point I was almost yanked from that “plane” to wake up.
It was a city. A very modern city. The moment I saw it I exclaimed, “That’s the place I saw in the Near Death Experience!”
I was so shocked I came close to immediately waking up.
The dude didn’t reply but waited patiently while I took in several details. Then I was allowed to wake up. The dude remained at my side.
He didn’t, as usual, ask me any questions about whether or not I understood. Then again, he didn’t have to.
For the most part I focused my thoughts on the painting and the apartment and ignored the city.
There’s a reason for that.
I went to my desk and drew the image from the painting in a notebook.
It reminded me of when I was in high school and drew images given to me by the dude while I was sitting in geometry.
Back to the Beginning.
In the immediate aftermath of the surgery I was blind, paralyzed, and in a coma. When I did start talking it was mostly to answer questions.
Though I did ask for a cherry popsicle and demand that the nurses stop touching me with their ice cold hands.
When I was finally allowed to speak the first thing I said was “I saw God.”
I then went on to describe, as best I could, what I saw and experienced during the NDE, doing my best to explain things I didn’t understsand.
Therein lay the problem.
When I talked about seeing God and my aunt Jan who’d died 11 months earlier, people were fine. It’s when I started talking about the other stuff that it went south. That other stuff included the city.
I described the city as best I could. The sticking point was that in addition to buildings that did not fit with any known description, there were “pointy things” sticking up.
I tried describing the layout only to be told they were church steeples so I shouldn’t worry about it. I took great pains to tell them that no, that’s not what the pointy things were.
Given that, partially paralyzed, it was incredibly difficult to speak, you can imagine how important this was to me – that they understand.
The more I tried telling them no the more upset they became. At one point my dad brought a magazine and showed me a photo of a cathedral with spires and said, “Like this, right?” Needless to say, I told him no.
Around this time my sight began returning and though I’d flatlined again – no NDE that time – I was moved to pediatrics.
I remember commenting on the ugly curtains which made me happy because at least I could see.
Focusing on regaining mobility while paralyzed allowed me to turn my attention to something other than how upset adults got by my insistance that the spires I saw in the NDE were not from churches.
Or anything else that drew attention to the fact that what I saw and experienced had roots in science and tech, not harps and wings.
In subsequent years other people’s reactions to this incongruency wore me out. It’s a great part of what drove me to turn to creating Metatron’s Army; the need for an outlet.
A way to deal with it.
Interestingly, whenever I talked with anyone who had a solid understanding of science and math – and later tech – they didn’t have a problem with any of it.
99.9% of them were male. Then again, 99.9% of the people in those disciplines were male.
I quickly bonded to engineers.
No surprise I married one.
I had numerous conversations with physics and math teachers in high school and college that went far in explaining what it was I saw.
Many were happy to hypothesize what it meant – without judging me.
No one who fell into this category tried to tell me
- What it was “I” saw
- What it meant
They were happy to consider possibilities without a need to draw conclusions.
They were definitely not threatened by it.
Even those with deep religious faith.
But the experience – peoples’ reactions early on – definitely took a toll.
I quit talking about it as I got tired of people telling me I was mistaken, that it had to be churches. Over time as life – dealing with it – invaded – I set it all aside.
Along with trying to figure out what it all meant.
I can’t get the image of that city out of my mind.
I can honestly say I hadn’t thought about it – or pictured it – in decades.
It isn’t part of the series.
The Eolighten city of Touring, named for the brilliant scientist/mathematician Alan Turing, is – in my mind – like any modern city you’d find in Western Society.
I never pictured it as a fancy sci-fi city even if it has elements like interplanetary transport stations.
Seeing that city again in that context – Spirit School – and now understanding what those spires are? It brings me face to face with a brutal reality: I never made up my mind about what it was I saw.
- Was I seeing some futuristic Earth city?
- Was I seeing a city as it existed long ago?
- Was I seeing a city in another dimension?
I don’t know!
Immersing myself in the creation of Metatron’s Army meant I didn’t have to make up my mind about what it all meant and as life – dealing with the chaos of it – took most of my attention, I never had to think about it.
Not even when the dude showed up in 2015 and demanded I publish “the story.”
Now? I think I have to make up my mind.
Not an easy thing.
I know they aren’t churches!
So…what are they?
An antenna array. Specifically? A communications array.
The joy of psi in sci-fi.